The BIGGEST Competition

Not gonna lie, I got this next post idea is from Facebook - I mean it’s where most people spend the majority of their time, right?

I saw this meme that talked about having daughters and to check in on moms of daughters because we are not ok.  I have 3 daughters, and I get it because having daughters is completely different stress level.  However, that should not negate the fact that having boys is just as stressful as having girls.

Each gender comes with its own uniqueness. Boys have problems and so do girls (it’s called being a kid).

Somewhere along the way between facebook and people wanting to go viral with their creative memes I feel as though people have learned to believe what they see and in turn create a competition between being a boy mom or a girl mom.  But, it doesn’t stop there. It continues with “well, my kid jumped off the couch.” To, “Oh, well my kid jumped off a 3 story building” (exaggerating, of course).  I write this to show the ridiculousness of the competition we place on parenting.

My girls are very, very active; which is why I have them in dance, gymnastics, and in the summer, soccer.  They like to have down time when they’re eyes finally close at bed time.  Other than that, they are constantly moving.  Wait, my 19 month still likes to nap (hooray)! But, our family is a constant go, go, go.  And I love it! I know boys that are just as active, more active or not as active.  Same goes for girls.  This label we put on girls and boys needs to be ripped off.  Girls can be funny, athletic, smart, wear dresses, wear pants...there isn’t just one rule.  Actually, if there was one rule for both boys and girls it would be, to be kind.  But, that’s it.  Wearing a dress doesn’t make you a girly-girl (shutter) and wearing pants doesn’t make you a tomboy (another shutter).  It simply makes you a girl who likes to wear pants, dresses, tutus, sports uniforms, and fishing gear.  Just as boys can play dress up, dance, play sports, and pretend to be singing Elsa with his older or younger sibling because they simply like the movie.  However, your kids play, talk, read, write, listen (or don’t listen) it’s not a competition.  When we compete with other parents (which many try to do subtly) it hurts the other mom.  A mom who already may feel insecure with her parenting, especially if it’s her first child.  Or a mother who just adopted a child or fostered.  The mom you’re competing with could also be suffering from ppd (and yes, it’s a very real thing).  Instead of competing reach out to a mom who may just need a listening ear, or even help watching her child so she can finally take a shower after 3 days because she’s been up all night with a baby who won’t sleep or is sick.  Maybe make a meal for a mom without any reason, just to do something nice.  Offer to watch her kids so her and her husband can go out on a date.

I know as parents we are all busy - especially moms who work outside the home and still manage to run their household with, what seems like, never ending games, or competitions, or studying.  Stop and take a breath.  We are all God’s children and are all supposed to support each other.  Parenting shouldn’t be a competition because life is full of them already.

Parenting is hard, there’s no perfect answer because there’s no perfect child. All children are different and in those differences we find the beauty.